Tau Background Fluff

Here's some more fluff I've been working on about my commander and his force:

Shas’el Doran’sha (Commander Smartwind) is a young and vibrant new commander of Fal’shia, a first sphere planet famed for its technological innovations. Like many from Fal’shia he has been described as incredibly forward thinking and ingenious, almost solving problems before they appear. In battle, he makes extensive use of new technologies such as the XV73 Battlesuits and his infamous Airbursting Fragmentation Projector which combined with his new strategies and ideas prove to be very deadly indeed.

Doran’sha has only recently been given the rank Shas’el after having, strangely, only served one year as a Shas’vre and two as a Shas’ui. His promotion was mainly due to an incredible feat of tactical brilliance show during a battle against Imperial Salamanders where his commanding officer was assassinated and his battle group separated from the main Tau forces. Doran’sha (part of the commanders bodyguard at the time) seized command of the half-cadre and escaped the jaws of the Space Marines, saving his fellow warriors and the vital information they had obtained. This was later known as the Taal Massacre (Preserved Massacre) as it could have easily been a complete disaster, with every Tau murdered or captured, but instead was turned around by Doran'sha, earing him the Taal part of his name.

However, even though this feat can only be considered incredible, many of his colleagues and higher-ranking officers say that it was not the only reason for his promotion. They instead point to his family ties to the high-commanders and advisors as the reason. A small political uproar ensued but before it became too serious the Ethereals intervened with a compromise. Doran’sha was to be given the lower title of Sha’el (not Shas’O) and command of only a handful of warriors (volunteers from the battle-group he saved) and will have to prove his worth over the next two years or be demoted to his original rank.

This obviously disturbed Doran whose promotion was entirely deserved, but has also steeled his resolve to prove himself to the Ethereals and his superiors. However with the help of his loyal warriors and new prototype Battlesuits this should not be a problem.....

So good or bad?